[ That scathing look really just makes him want to tease more, but it’s also because he would happily continue to avoid explaining this. It’s not simple, for one, but it’s also something that he just has complicated feelings about personally. He can play it off, but still. He sighs and reaches up to rub a hand through his hair, then sits back again. ]
Well, we can chalk it up to our shared language not being quite as precise. There’s the favor I give to people that undertake my trials, like Silco. Icnelia. That kind of favor is allowed for the god of impartiality, because our language, it’s poetry. That words means favoring and befriending someone, but when a god shows it? It also means bringing their death.
[ That’s not really what she asked, though. It might feel like he’s being evasive, but as his expression softens a little, it’s… sincere. It’s sincere in a way that’s very rare for him. This is clearly part of the explanation after all. ]
—But the favor we’re talking about here, it’s not that. It’s tlazotli. Holding something as more important, which is where it gets complicated.
[ …Technically, that’s not quite the translation, but. If he gives it literally, she’ll definitely get the wrong idea, so he’ll keep it simpler. ]
That’s against the rules. Call it a curse or bad luck or whatever, but the more I actually give a shit about something, the worse it turns out. [ He scoffs as he shrugs. ] It’s why I can’t shoot for shit. I like guns, but they’re uncooperative with me because I like ‘em.
[ It’s easier to make that joke and comparison, since it’s understandable. The cause and effect is obvious there. With people? Even he doesn’t know. Even when he could see the future clearly, those details always became fuzzy. Seeing the future also means you can’t touch your own. Even so. ]
Doesn’t stop me from trying, though. That’s what tlazotli means. Even if I know it won’t turn out well for me, I still want to give it.
[ Mhm. So essentially, that means whenever he grants anyone his favor in such a way, he unlocks the famed E-Rank luck. Does that mean he is knowingly dooming Daybit to fail in his endeavor? That's pretty rude. Least he could do is unsummon himself so his Master get a shot at a Servant who won't accidentally curse the whole endeavor because he cares too much.
It's sad though. Not being able to love anyone because you're all alone is terrible. Being able to and it always leading to a bad ending? That's even worse. But: ]
You didn't answer my question.
[ Nice try, Tezcoo. But she's not letting that slide. ]
You've explained the consequences for you to give out this kind of favor, but you have barely touched on what said favor is. [A pause.] I believe there are more than enough words in the language we currently share for you to give a well-detailed yet concise explanation.
[ She stares at him. Intently. Coldly. She knows the tricks. ]
[ He chokes out an uncomfortable noise, because he wasn’t actually trying to be sneaky here! He was just… hoping to not have to get pinned down by a specific answer. If this feels reminiscent of their conversation over Valentine letters, that’s completely fair, because it’s the same thing underpinning it. When it comes to actually putting that kind of favor into words— ]
What? That was clear from my actions, wasn’t it?
[ No. It was not. He’s still trying to sneak around it... ]
I gave up my organs to find you. Came down to the Underworld to see what made you decide that being a Beast was the way to go. Dove into the kinda death that’s for real for us both.
[ Which is all true, sure, but she knows it. It’s recent, and it doesn’t answer her question either. He huffs out a frustrated noise again but rubs his face with a hand. This shouldn’t be so difficult, and yet. ]
…I want you to get to be happy. Be a little less lonely, make an Underworld that’s more beautiful, whatever. For both of you, I see a fate that isn’t a fair one. So, I want to change it. No matter what that means for me.
[ She keeps staring at him. Unflinching. Her eyes not blinking once behind the sunglasses. It's rare to see Ereshkigal be that serious. Outside of when she is conducting her duties, it basically never happens.
So that's his answer. It appears to be something of an effort for him to say those words. And even then, it feels like he's still desperately trying to avoid employing other words. For the first time, she feels like the word "pathetic" may apply very accurately to Tezcatlipoca. That's the only appropriate word to describe such a sad display of avoidance and inability to express oneself.
And lo! She starts crying out loud. Whether Tezcatlipoca was actually being pathetic or not, he doesn't have to worry about it because she's making sure the crown for being a pathetic god remain firmly seated on her head.
It's true, he gave his organs for her. Risked death. And he's now offering to share in her fate. T-That's a lot, when she hears it being enumerated like that. Sniff. Sobbing. ]
I... I don't know what to say...
[ Literally, the software that is her soul just wasn't prepared for things to go that far today!
But there's still that little thing about exclusivity. M-Maybe she could kill everyone who gets his favor? No, bad thought. Besides, that'd just confirm his "it always goes wrong" curse. No way she would reinforce that.
So... She needs time. Because right now she doesn't know what to say or do. ]
[ …See, this is more what he was expecting, but. It doesn’t make it all that much better?? Like, he prefers this to the extremely stern, about-to-receive-a-goddess’s-wrath gaze, but people are definitely going to get the wrong idea if there’s anyone nearby. Why couldn’t this have been after the rooms got better soundproofing?! ]
Sheesh… You’re hopeless.
[ There’s no bite in the words, though. Maybe this also something he sighs out for himself too. That inner monologue of hers is spot on, after all. But rather than just passively watch this time, he shifts closer and opens an arm up for her to slot into. Normally, he’d just go for the hug, but considering her interesting ideas about intimacy, he figures it’s better for her to take that slight initiative. ]
C’mere.
[ But whether she takes the offer or not, his words are the same. ]
You don’t have to. I meant what I said back then. I’m in your corner, no matter what.
[ It's okay, Silco is probably thinking he just made her cry real hard with some next-level cruelty. That means he can get some blissful sleep and remain unaware of the strange and - quite frankly - unexpected truth. Poor Tezcatlipoca is going to have some difficult talk to have with his acolyte afterward.
... Christmas dinners are going to be awkward, huh. ]
....?
[ Is... Is he offering her a hug?
She just stares at him for a moment, totally unsure what to do. Ereshkigal has hugged many of her friends, she's done it quite a bit actually. One could say she's become somewhat of a hug monster over her stay in this world! And she even hugged him once in a gesture of friendship.
But... That's so different right now.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Well clearly she can't make a decision. So that means she should act on impulse and without thinking! And so she goes for it and crash into him. Well not literally crash, but she does do it pretty quickly so he may feel the impact all the same. And she keeps crying, just against his shoulder now. ]
[ Tezcatlipoca definitely huffs out a woah when she half-crashes into him, because even if he was expecting the impact if she took up the offer, she’s still strong! It’s at least not like some people who don’t know their own strength (Quetzalcoatl…), so he quickly recovers, and it’s with a quiet little laugh at just how aggressively she’d taken the offer. He doesn’t make fun of her, though.
He just wraps his arms around her and holds her.
It’s not a tight embrace, so she can easily pull away when she feels like it, but it’s still warm and quiet. He doesn’t even smell the cigarette smoke that might be expected—it’s campfire and copal. He leans his head against hers lightly and just holds her in this gentle way. It’s all understated, which suits him, but it’s not lacking in comfort. Sometimes this is all a soul at his campfire wants, after all.
She’ll strike up the conversation when she’s ready.
[ He better gets used to it! The day of the wedding, he's the one getting bridal carried away, not her!
... In all seriousness though, it does feel nice. Not just hugging a friend but something - someone - who is precious to her in a different and unique way. She could get used to it. W-Which means she probably shouldn't linger for too long! After a moment of silence and when her tears have finally receded, she does finally pull back.
She keeps her eyes closed and takes a deep breath. ]
I... I am going to need some time.
[ Sometimes she does things on impulse but this situation deserves for her to seriously think about it. Especially since it's not just about her. With everything she has learned, one thing is clear: Tezcatlipoca can get hurt and suffer a whole lot, in ways physical wounds are unable to compare. And while he may be used to such suffering...
... She doesn't want to add to it. She cares just as much as he does ]
Suggesting you change your ways would be an extremely selfish and ultimately futile act. [She can't just ask him to "favor" only her and forget everyone else. Besides she knows she's in the minority here. Most gods don't care about exclusivity - and even fewer think about love and romance the way she does.] But I cannot ignore what my heart tells me either.
[ She knows herself. Should she overlook this difference between them and go ahead with all of this... She knows her insecurities and fears may turn this into a nightmare. One that would affect them both. She needs to think about all of this. Maybe reassess some truths she took as absolute.
... Hopefully nothing's going to happen in the coming days that complicate this train of thought. She turns around towards the door. ]
But no matter what conclusion I ultimately reach... [She tilts her head back and smiles at him.] Know I favor you, too.
[ She kind of gets it now. It's a good word to use that leaves a lot up to the imagination - she doesn't have to use more explicit and dangerous words when she uses that one! Well, she would never do it normally... But since he's the one who started this, she sees no problem with it. ]
[ He relaxes to let her pull back, and he nods to her words, since that’s expected. They’ve thrown a lot at each other here, though he does laugh when she acknowledges the differences at their approach. ]
Wouldn’t ask you to either. I feel the same way that we are who we are. [ …He’d been trying to avoid using words like this, but when it’s a joke, it’s not so bad. Maybe. ] Besides, can you even imagine me as the more romantic type? Doesn’t fit at all. I’m the cool, aloof anti-hero, if anything.
[ He has genre awareness here, though his is from movies rather than books… But it’s a playful joke to soften some of the tension, and he gives her a more sincere smile in return to hers. ]
So, take your time. If I’ve got your favor, then I’ll be satisfied either way.
[ It’s a cool line to end things on! Very fitting for that cool, aloof anti-hero thing!
…But he does have another thought, or rather. He has a vision of the potential future. Not as in his prescience, but as in being intuitive enough to see potential future headaches on the horizon (he has no idea). So, with a little “ah” and a pause, because this will really take away from the moment, but. ]
…And, uh. You screamed and then cried pretty loud, so if anyone comes to yell at me about it, I’m sending them your way.
[ like look he wants to be the bad boy but not THAT kind of bad boy,,, ]
[ Honestly? Yes, she can imagine him as the more romantic. He's proven before to be absolutely unpredictable, and nobody in their right mind would be able to see him doing anything remotely romantic.
Therefore, that means he is likely to defy those expectations. Flawless deduction, if she says so herself. Besides, if she is to be honest, traditional heroes are the most boring romantic leads. You want someone who can do crazy things out of the blue to keep the story interesting, like awaken ORT to devour the planet or become a Beast intent on destroying the world.
... But of course he gotta say something that totally ruins the tone of the entire conversation. Sighs. Just as she's about to leave his room, she pauses and says: ]
Silco's next door, yes? [It's going exactly where he thinks it's going.] Well since he's your acolyte, I see no reason to lie to him.
[ And lo, she leaves!
... He may want to avoid sending people her way. Whatever trouble may arise from dealing with people who wonders why he made her cry(?), what she'd tell them may end up being far far worse. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Well, we can chalk it up to our shared language not being quite as precise. There’s the favor I give to people that undertake my trials, like Silco. Icnelia. That kind of favor is allowed for the god of impartiality, because our language, it’s poetry. That words means favoring and befriending someone, but when a god shows it? It also means bringing their death.
[ That’s not really what she asked, though. It might feel like he’s being evasive, but as his expression softens a little, it’s… sincere. It’s sincere in a way that’s very rare for him. This is clearly part of the explanation after all. ]
—But the favor we’re talking about here, it’s not that. It’s tlazotli. Holding something as more important, which is where it gets complicated.
[ …Technically, that’s not quite the translation, but. If he gives it literally, she’ll definitely get the wrong idea, so he’ll keep it simpler. ]
That’s against the rules. Call it a curse or bad luck or whatever, but the more I actually give a shit about something, the worse it turns out. [ He scoffs as he shrugs. ] It’s why I can’t shoot for shit. I like guns, but they’re uncooperative with me because I like ‘em.
[ It’s easier to make that joke and comparison, since it’s understandable. The cause and effect is obvious there. With people? Even he doesn’t know. Even when he could see the future clearly, those details always became fuzzy. Seeing the future also means you can’t touch your own. Even so. ]
Doesn’t stop me from trying, though. That’s what tlazotli means. Even if I know it won’t turn out well for me, I still want to give it.
no subject
It's sad though. Not being able to love anyone because you're all alone is terrible. Being able to and it always leading to a bad ending? That's even worse. But: ]
You didn't answer my question.
[ Nice try, Tezcoo. But she's not letting that slide. ]
You've explained the consequences for you to give out this kind of favor, but you have barely touched on what said favor is. [A pause.] I believe there are more than enough words in the language we currently share for you to give a well-detailed yet concise explanation.
[ She stares at him. Intently. Coldly. She knows the tricks. ]
no subject
[ He chokes out an uncomfortable noise, because he wasn’t actually trying to be sneaky here! He was just… hoping to not have to get pinned down by a specific answer. If this feels reminiscent of their conversation over Valentine letters, that’s completely fair, because it’s the same thing underpinning it. When it comes to actually putting that kind of favor into words— ]
What? That was clear from my actions, wasn’t it?
[ No. It was not. He’s still trying to sneak around it... ]
I gave up my organs to find you. Came down to the Underworld to see what made you decide that being a Beast was the way to go. Dove into the kinda death that’s for real for us both.
[ Which is all true, sure, but she knows it. It’s recent, and it doesn’t answer her question either. He huffs out a frustrated noise again but rubs his face with a hand. This shouldn’t be so difficult, and yet. ]
…I want you to get to be happy. Be a little less lonely, make an Underworld that’s more beautiful, whatever. For both of you, I see a fate that isn’t a fair one. So, I want to change it. No matter what that means for me.
1/2
So that's his answer. It appears to be something of an effort for him to say those words. And even then, it feels like he's still desperately trying to avoid employing other words. For the first time, she feels like the word "pathetic" may apply very accurately to Tezcatlipoca. That's the only appropriate word to describe such a sad display of avoidance and inability to express oneself.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ]
no subject
And lo! She starts crying out loud. Whether Tezcatlipoca was actually being pathetic or not, he doesn't have to worry about it because she's making sure the crown for being a pathetic god remain firmly seated on her head.
It's true, he gave his organs for her. Risked death. And he's now offering to share in her fate. T-That's a lot, when she hears it being enumerated like that. Sniff. Sobbing. ]
I... I don't know what to say...
[ Literally, the software that is her soul just wasn't prepared for things to go that far today!
But there's still that little thing about exclusivity. M-Maybe she could kill everyone who gets his favor? No, bad thought. Besides, that'd just confirm his "it always goes wrong" curse. No way she would reinforce that.
So... She needs time. Because right now she doesn't know what to say or do. ]
no subject
Sheesh… You’re hopeless.
[ There’s no bite in the words, though. Maybe this also something he sighs out for himself too. That inner monologue of hers is spot on, after all. But rather than just passively watch this time, he shifts closer and opens an arm up for her to slot into. Normally, he’d just go for the hug, but considering her interesting ideas about intimacy, he figures it’s better for her to take that slight initiative. ]
C’mere.
[ But whether she takes the offer or not, his words are the same. ]
You don’t have to. I meant what I said back then. I’m in your corner, no matter what.
no subject
... Christmas dinners are going to be awkward, huh. ]
....?
[ Is... Is he offering her a hug?
She just stares at him for a moment, totally unsure what to do. Ereshkigal has hugged many of her friends, she's done it quite a bit actually. One could say she's become somewhat of a hug monster over her stay in this world! And she even hugged him once in a gesture of friendship.
But... That's so different right now.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Well clearly she can't make a decision. So that means she should act on impulse and without thinking! And so she goes for it and crash into him. Well not literally crash, but she does do it pretty quickly so he may feel the impact all the same. And she keeps crying, just against his shoulder now. ]
no subject
[ Tezcatlipoca definitely huffs out a woah when she half-crashes into him, because even if he was expecting the impact if she took up the offer, she’s still strong! It’s at least not like some people who don’t know their own strength (Quetzalcoatl…), so he quickly recovers, and it’s with a quiet little laugh at just how aggressively she’d taken the offer. He doesn’t make fun of her, though.
He just wraps his arms around her and holds her.
It’s not a tight embrace, so she can easily pull away when she feels like it, but it’s still warm and quiet. He doesn’t even smell the cigarette smoke that might be expected—it’s campfire and copal. He leans his head against hers lightly and just holds her in this gentle way. It’s all understated, which suits him, but it’s not lacking in comfort. Sometimes this is all a soul at his campfire wants, after all.
She’ll strike up the conversation when she’s ready.
…Or run away. Either or. ]
no subject
... In all seriousness though, it does feel nice. Not just hugging a friend but something - someone - who is precious to her in a different and unique way. She could get used to it. W-Which means she probably shouldn't linger for too long! After a moment of silence and when her tears have finally receded, she does finally pull back.
She keeps her eyes closed and takes a deep breath. ]
I... I am going to need some time.
[ Sometimes she does things on impulse but this situation deserves for her to seriously think about it. Especially since it's not just about her. With everything she has learned, one thing is clear: Tezcatlipoca can get hurt and suffer a whole lot, in ways physical wounds are unable to compare. And while he may be used to such suffering...
... She doesn't want to add to it. She cares just as much as he does ]
Suggesting you change your ways would be an extremely selfish and ultimately futile act. [She can't just ask him to "favor" only her and forget everyone else. Besides she knows she's in the minority here. Most gods don't care about exclusivity - and even fewer think about love and romance the way she does.] But I cannot ignore what my heart tells me either.
[ She knows herself. Should she overlook this difference between them and go ahead with all of this... She knows her insecurities and fears may turn this into a nightmare. One that would affect them both. She needs to think about all of this. Maybe reassess some truths she took as absolute.
... Hopefully nothing's going to happen in the coming days that complicate this train of thought. She turns around towards the door. ]
But no matter what conclusion I ultimately reach... [She tilts her head back and smiles at him.] Know I favor you, too.
[ She kind of gets it now. It's a good word to use that leaves a lot up to the imagination - she doesn't have to use more explicit and dangerous words when she uses that one! Well, she would never do it normally... But since he's the one who started this, she sees no problem with it. ]
1/2
Wouldn’t ask you to either. I feel the same way that we are who we are. [ …He’d been trying to avoid using words like this, but when it’s a joke, it’s not so bad. Maybe. ] Besides, can you even imagine me as the more romantic type? Doesn’t fit at all. I’m the cool, aloof anti-hero, if anything.
[ He has genre awareness here, though his is from movies rather than books… But it’s a playful joke to soften some of the tension, and he gives her a more sincere smile in return to hers. ]
So, take your time. If I’ve got your favor, then I’ll be satisfied either way.
MY INTERNET WENT OUT TRYING TO POST PART 2 LMF
…But he does have another thought, or rather. He has a vision of the potential future. Not as in his prescience, but as in being intuitive enough to see potential future headaches on the horizon (he has no idea). So, with a little “ah” and a pause, because this will really take away from the moment, but. ]
…And, uh. You screamed and then cried pretty loud, so if anyone comes to yell at me about it, I’m sending them your way.
[ like look he wants to be the bad boy but not THAT kind of bad boy,,, ]
tis fate
Therefore, that means he is likely to defy those expectations. Flawless deduction, if she says so herself. Besides, if she is to be honest, traditional heroes are the most boring romantic leads. You want someone who can do crazy things out of the blue to keep the story interesting, like awaken ORT to devour the planet or become a Beast intent on destroying the world.
... But of course he gotta say something that totally ruins the tone of the entire conversation. Sighs. Just as she's about to leave his room, she pauses and says: ]
Silco's next door, yes? [It's going exactly where he thinks it's going.] Well since he's your acolyte, I see no reason to lie to him.
[ And lo, she leaves!
... He may want to avoid sending people her way. Whatever trouble may arise from dealing with people who wonders why he made her cry(?), what she'd tell them may end up being far far worse. ]